The Cotman Letters 1838-1864

To Walter F Cotman 31
April 7. 1838. 42 Hunter St.
Brunswick Square

My dear Boy,
It is so long since you have heard from any of us that I
think, whatever you may think, we have behaved most cruel
to you. I, for my part, have endeavoured several times to sit down
to write to you, but have have always been too fatigued to do so, from excess
of work. This, you must know, is good news to you, for I am never
so happy as when so engaged. I shall begin this & leave the others to
finish it. If I do not this ? for I will not delay another post,
that's to say, Monday's post. For I will give them the opportunity of the
Sunday to finish this, & I hope it will be crossed & found to be
worth the postage.
Yesterday I came home from a long walk, on business, and more
fatigued I scarcely even felt myself, and I could not put pen to paper,
so thoroughly knocked up was I. Now for a long history of myself.
My intemperance of sitting up three & sometimes four nights
per week, as you will know I did for years, brought on a cold fit
and it lasted about sixteen months. I felt utterly cased in ice,
which nothing ever removed. My Doctor advised exercise. This
only, most extraordinairly, produced a sensation of greater cold.
So much so that I was always glad to get home again
and to get a little warm by artificial means, such as roasting
myself; and only in such a situation could I thaw myself.
In short I considered myself booked & directed for another world.
But, no, I now hope not just yet, for I have taken a fresh lease, &
don't intend to quit until it is fully expired. I attribute my recovery
entirely to a pint of milk-ocult, which I have now taken for
about sixteen nights. The very first morning after having done so,.
I think most assuredly John saw very clearly how very ill I was &
feeble. I hated all fatigues, all sights of drawings & pictures, and,
in short, life was a perfect burden to me. The love of all these
have now returned ^ again with my health, and both Miles & Jane now
hard at work, he never working better, & I not the worse.
This, on my part, has only been about sixteen days. Miles & I