The Cotman Letters 1804-1833

To Dawson Turner Esq, Yarmouth.
Norwich. March 14.1812.

Dear Sir,
Again my hopes are dashed to the ground. No longer can I flatter myself that I shall be able to bring out my second No. of my Norfolk Etchings by the 1st of April. On the day I wrote my last letter to you was but the forerunner of the crisis of my disorder. For on that very night (after thinking my self so well) I was delirious, and all the designs I had against your family rose up in dreadful judgement against me - in chaotic shapes of masses of half-formed cones, angles, squares, hyperbolas, parabolas, etc - all of which I was to form. But no sooner did I commence on one figure than an-other obtunded itself, till maddened with the difficulty and oppression I groaned with horror, and cold despo of perspiration chased each other down my temples till my hair was literally saturated. Morning dawned most lovely. I saw it. My servant called me at 8 o'clock. I promised to get up. Again & again she called. But under another difficulty which I thought could not possibly be surmounted - that of putting two pieces of wood together of this form -) )- with this figure - ) ( - kept me a prisoner in my bed until a late hour, and in wretchedness. And when I did get up, it was an escape.

On Sunday Evening Mrs Cotman returned, having been to Felbrigg for the whole of the week o see her friends, previous to her coming to Yarmouth.

On Monday it returned again, though less violent, accompanied as usual with dreadful headaches, and every pulsation making a curve to some arch, the thirst the crown of it. Such have been my feelings, for these fifteen days. I would not venture to say I have been so ill, did not Mr Rigby say that my fever fits were severe. What am I to do? T'is in vain now to attempt to get the 2nd No. out by the 1st of April. I have