The Cotman Letters 1804-1833

(pencil notes) 98
[To Dawson Turner Esq]
//

22 July 1826. Norwich.

Dear Sir,

Edmund, the best of sons, has shown for a long time a devotedness to his Business that nothing but a knowledge of the difficulties with which it is surrounded could free him to take - to the entire exclusion of all pursuits necessary for his years to [[create natural]] and cheerfulness.
After the melancholy accident we found it proper, from the distressed state of his mind, to put him into a room next to our own - His habits are changed and he takes little sleep, for he walks & bathes between 4 & 5 O'clock. At breakfast a few mornings since - seeing him look so ill & distressed - I said, surely, my love, your early rising does not agree with you? And he looked up full in my face and replied, 'Oh, my dear Papa, what can I do?'
He has never been since!
He asks for drawings to copy, but a blank is in his heart. No sounds (as once) of cheerfulness accompany his labors. Tuesday he slept in his usual rooms, on the returnof his sister. On Wednesday I went up to him, on being disturbed at about 12. o'clock by his singing so loud as for me to suppose it to proceed from the next house. I listened a long time to a strain of terrific & heart-rending notes of the most melancholy character - wild & frightful - I entered and said 'My Love, I thought I heard you up' and he was So - for he was not undressed and was pacing his room - 'Are you unwell?' - 'No, Papa'- 'Were you singing?' 'No Papa - Goodnight ,Sir, God bless you' - I left him, but he began instantly. After waiting, I returned & said, 'Surely, my Love, it was you singing@ - 'Well then, I won't sing any more' - and I believe he did not, and I ought to know, for I heard him not, and was awake. This shock is very severe. It is too severe for me to describe. But, thank God, I am calm & collected now. I am as usual. The same notes have been sung during the day, but with less continuation. I am (I