The Cotman Letters 1804-1833

89
(pencil note) [Norwich]

Dawson Turner Esq
June 30. 1826.
Dear Sir,
Thank you for your friendly letter. I wish I could see my situation in so fair a view as you are pleased to say you do. I have not decievef you in any statement that I have made. My last half year's receipts will be about £100. But what the next half year's will be, I dare not, I have not courage, to look upon. I have been looking for days all over Norwich for a house, but, alas, small Houses are dearer than large ones in proportion - and nothing is to be touched for less than £50 or £60, Rents & Taxes - All beneath is squalid wretchedness both in house and situation. The only one that has come tolerably near my wants is the one I looked at for another person - The situation good and House all neatness and respectability, but rather too small, but I should have taken it beyond all. The rent & taxes about 50!
The loss of it drove me almost distracted, but whether it will be ultimately, a loss or not, it did seem one of those extraordinary fatalities that can occur only for some distinct purpose. I forward a letter from tthe Rate officer, but no mention is there made of a ? Do me the favor to pay the £27. 17. 6, as usual. God only knowns how long it can be paid by me, and then all falls to the ground. In a letter to Mr Brightwen I have mentioned that Mr Holmes said there was (if I mistook him not) an opening for a master at Derby. That point I would ascertain, and act accordingly. I have turned every subject that I thought could better my situation, without making one step, for Norwich, in all its adversity, presents nothing in House rent that bears the shadow of cheapness. These are my holydays! The Vacation - a time for relaxation and, to many, masters of ease. They have for years and years been busy times with me and they have, from intense occupation, appeared short indeed. These are long, for I am in misery. I lay my head on my pillow in bitter tears and awake, after but about four hours rest, in tears and alarm that shakes me like an ague. I watch the hand that presses the aching head of my wife, and am